It began innocently as all great things usually do. Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that perfectly fit, we came together as the 1960s were clashing into the 1970s. A group of high school friends that coalesced classroom by classroom and street by street. Some were drawn by mutual interests, some by growing up in the same neighborhood. Quickly we found ourselves forming not a puzzle but a tableau of perfection.

As we grew older and gained wheels, our playground expanded to the great beaches of southern Long Island: Jones Beach, Tobay, Gilgo. For boating, we water-skied and fished the Great South Bay together. Our bodies burnt and tanned by days in the summer sun, we were fueled by adventure and companionship by day and of course by beer at night. We had our favorite bars. Whales Tales was played at Tabard Ale House, stories were told at Whiskey Reds, shots were downed at Solomon Grundy’s. There were a million bars to choose from and each one was perfect for whichever night we chose to meet there.

It wasn’t just guys – we had an equal number of females in our group. Some of us paired off but mostly, we all hung together and bonded and got ready to sail off to university or vocations and figure out our futures.

At the movies, the studio system was falling apart as old Hollywood was forced to yield to the wave of New-Wave Hollywood directors. My friends and I were enraptured by 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Graduate, Easy Rider, Bonnie & Clyde, Shampoo to name just a few. Some of the most shocking but insightful films at the time. We would exit the theater and arrive at whichever bar we chose that night to discuss in-depth the film we had just seen. Golden era of friendship, perhaps. We rarely disagreed and you were lucky if you could complete your thoughts as someone next to you was segueing onto a different commentary or analysis. Yes, we were amazing.

And although we might be growing apart from our own parents with the cultural divide and the Viet Nam War and clash of the 1960s just behind us, we found it easy to get close to each other’s parents. They would entertain us in great conversations and invite us into their homes so we could hang out when winter replaced our summer idylls. Some of them were great hosts, some became mentors, others told great stories. Yes, they were keeping us close (as a parent, I now recognize this parental device) but over time, they came to appreciate the friendships among us and enjoyed talking with us about the issues of the day. Somehow, it always seemed that a friend’s parents were better listeners than our own parents. “Wow, they get it,” we might say these days.

Fifty years have gone by now. The years have been kind to most of us: successful lawyers, doctors, businesspeople, teachers, financiers, engineers and other professionals. Friends became parents, parents became grounded.

Was it really 50 years ago? How is that possible? What and who have we become? Were we really nurturers of each other or just friends who have become acquaintances who get together once every five or ten years for a reunion?

Nurturers, definitely. Our values were there from the beginning and we bonded over the cataclysms of the American divide between right and left. Although many of us might have shifted viewpoints and politics over the years, we could see and feel the common interests that so tightly bonded us and held us together. We believed in the fair fight, individual rights, the hope to improve the community. We were not social workers, but were guided by fairness. 

And now, I find myself retired. And as I think back to those halcyon days of teenage friendship and coming of age, I still find it remarkable: the people we were, the families we’ve raised, the challenges we’ve all overcome. Sure, many people across the land share similar stories, different memories and strong bonds. We were not unusual. But what we were is this: the right friends at the right time in the best place during one of the most interesting eras in U.S. history – Baby Boomers figuring things out, dominating the music and cultural scene, building wealth, traversing the globe like no previous generation, reshaping the world as companies catered to serving our insatiable demands for fashion, food and entertainment.

The beaches and the bay are still there on Long Island but many of us are not. From Long Island to Pennsylvania, Florida, California, Connecticut, Virginia, Georgia, upstate New York, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and other points, we branched out to new opportunities. Some are still on Long Island. Sadly, a few are no longer with us: Stephanie, George and Steve.

The bars we frequented are all long gone. The cutting-edge movies we loved have been replaced by characters out of comic books. Things change and it’s all good.

I can pick up the phone at any time and call one of my old friends and as we begin talking, I already have a smile on my face. We are brought back in an instant to the glow of youth, nostalgia and camaraderie, to old memories as well as new updates on our lives, our families and our journeys.

It is comforting, it is a blessing and it is all good.

Chris Ebel
9/30/21

Photo credit: Jim Avallone