They had been on the road for hours. The car was too small for all of them, no one was happy or comfortable. There were gifts in the back that had been long forgotten. They drove on anyway, their destination was finally on the horizon of their arrival.

The Thanksgiving meal they had been promised now seemed like a rite. Once dinner was over, then what? They had known this but still had agreed it would be a great idea, keep harmony in the family. There was no dread, only a sense of closure.

Years ago, when the family had been young, holidays were always special as for most families they knew. Among their friends, it was regarded as a special time to come together, to bow their heads before eating, to appreciate this fine day with grace. Old family stories would of course be told, new revelations might be dropped but it always reminded them all of the strengths they had had when they were young and eager.

They were all still eager but most of them had felt the sting of life. Not that things had gone wrong. It just hadn’t seemed like the same trajectory. New challenges, old nemeses were always lurking, sometimes with increasing frequency. Why couldn’t life continue in a straight line? They each knew that wasn’t likely now but it didn’t lessen their anxiety. If only, if only, a bitter and senseless thought.

But they’d all done alright, some had done quite well. There were never resentments between each other regarding careers or accomplishments; they had all staked out such different paths and they had each made the right choice for themselves. And now here they all were, agreeing to drive together back to the family home rather than individually fly in. It wasn’t a test of their wills as much as a regathering. One more road trip like when they were kids.

The four of them arrived. Four grown-ups who had been born in two-year bursts. Jack the veterinarian was 28, Sharon, a civil engineer was 26. Steven, still in pre-med was 24 and Alice just starting out at the Museum was 22. They knew who they were, at least at this point in their lives. They had each done what had been expected of them but they had also pushed themselves, found that curiosity and followed it.

None had yet married nor had anyone to bring home to the feast. It was a time they all had been either “in between relationships” or concentrating on their careers or themselves. So, it would only be themselves and Mom and Dad. The family.

They went inside and they all embraced their parents. Bob and Susan were beaming at their four children and ushered them in away from the front door and into the warm home. The burden the four siblings had felt in the car began to melt as the familiarity of home surrounded them all. They had all gotten caught up with each other in the car and now it was time to bring Mom and Dad up to date as well.

From out of nowhere, Bob opened a fine Champagne and a toast was made to their family and their good fortune. They all felt it, it was good. No one here was what you would consider wealthy but they all were on that right path, they all had chosen well, money would be there. Relationships would come later. For now, they could just concentrate on themselves.

For the next four hours or so, they would relive many memories, correct assumptions each had made and rewrite a bit of their histories together. Some things get forgotten, some things get distorted and as always, it’s all in the retelling that family legends are created or cemented. It’s not the broken arm from childhood that is remembered so much as what happened at the hospital. The date from the Senior Prom might be forgotten but not the story of the missing tuxedo that was only discovered years later. “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend,” as they all remembered from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.

It’s not about denying the past or cleaning up ugly details; it’s about realizing how a family fits together, how they want to evolve from childhood to adolescence to being adults and where they fit in the larger family. And as each one matures and becomes wiser, they recognize that what they once thought about a rival sibling, is now so much more complex and compelling, especially in light of their development inside and outside the family. You gradually grow from a sense of malaise to becoming their biggest supporter.

And the parents feel vindication in it all as they watch their children reach out beyond the petty jealousies and hurts of their youth to this magical congealing of four adults coming together to tell a family history, to create their own legend.

The legend isn’t false. It’s our family crest, the movie we present to the world. We live it, we endure it, we become wiser and hopefully, better. And when there is a crisis, we are better prepared to jump in and provide whatever support and make things right again. For that, we should all give thanks – and never forget where we came from.

Chris Ebel
11/24/21

Image credit: @monmart