What have I learned from life after 68 years? What have I learned about myself? What do we all learn as we age that makes everything we thought we knew seem less important? How do we all progress, taking wisdom from here and there, using it and comparing it to what we learned in school and college and become better and smarter as we age?
We all went through the stages of schooling, the history and the sciences we were taught, the books we read and wrote about in English, perhaps the foreign languages we learned and later forgot. Math was a mystery for some as we all progressed from arithmetic to learning the multiplication tables to the higher maths such as algebra, geometry, trigonometry and calculus. And for many, there were the joys of art, music and shop for boys and home economics for girls.
But as I look back now, there was so much that school and college did not and could not prepare us for. Or did it? Did all that learning and reading and thinking shape us and contribute to our later success?
It’s complicated – but the answer has to be yes. I was in marketing management and later, market research and almost everything I learned was “on the job.” I realized I was becoming an expert at forecasting when I was about 25. Yet years earlier in 9th grade, I had struggled with algebra. And it was those struggles that enabled me to overcome my math challenges. My brain had been rewired somehow and I enjoyed using math in real world applications. It wasn’t schoolwork anymore, it was the beginning of finding success and building a career. And so I became more curious and years later, I was devouring data from the U.S. Census Bureau and producing demographic analysis and business trends.
Wisdom also instructs us about ourselves. Many of us took the Myers-Briggs personality test at some point when we were in the workforce. When I saw my results, I was surprised but the instructor explained how to view and interpret our individual profiles. And everyone in the class began to realize the test was telling us all our relative strengths, not weaknesses. We no longer had to feel insufficient in our skills versus our feelings. This was who we were. And if we were smart and embraced our results and learned how to deal with other personality types, that was wisdom.
When we think about where we are in the world, our years of experience help us balance out all the factors of current and past events. Whereas in our youth we may have reacted to something as an all or nothing response (war and peace, the feminist movement, gay rights, abortion among others), we can look back and realize we have a wider perspective and more balance on many issues.
I was only a B student in high school and stupidly, I cut probably 40% of my college classes. Really stupid since college wasn’t and isn’t cheap. Since my family and I paid, I should have gotten my money’s worth and tried harder. It was my rebellion during a rebellious time (1971-1975).
But I made it through, beginning as a philosophy major then an English Lit major and finally a business major. Then I discovered Marketing 101 and the light bulb went off. Now I became engaged in my education. But for me, what made college interesting was not all the required courses. What I thrived on were the free electives. Some of the courses I loved were Satire, Bridge (mastering the game), Abnormal Psychology, Astronomy, Meteorology, Electronic Music and Literature. And I read like crazy, but not just the assigned texts. I really began branching out to many different types of books. Yes I should have concentrated more on my college studies but I would not be the person I am now; more important, I definitely would not have had the career success if I hadn’t been so curious about learning beyond the college program.
So it was curiosity about a lot of things I was not being taught, not necessarily a part of the syllabus. And our individual wisdoms become so much wider and better and deeper because we push ourselves in so many directions.
Our wisdom informs us that we have expanded our minds so much and we continue to do so as we get older. For most of us, we have been able to problem-solve at a higher level than when we did right after college when we did not have as much context and reality to deal with.
So curiosity works hand in hand with wisdom. The more you think, the more you learn and you combine that with all life experiences to become more well-rounded.
Parents get better as they age too. Having a child is tough, scary and nerve-wracking. It takes years to navigate and eventually, give in and let things develop instead of forcing your agenda on a child or young adult. As we observe and care for kids and nurture them, it takes a while to let go and allow them to find themselves and develop skills and passions that later blow us away. When parents slowly allow their ego to drop away, that is their wisdom kicking in.
While we all have different political views, we still gain wisdom from our lives. So there is no one Wisdom Pool for everyone to draw from. Wisdom looks different depending on values, experiences and how we combine those with our educations and upbringing. So the same people who attended school together can have widely different mindsets. That’s perspective.
So as I asked at the top, what have I learned? I learned I am a lot smarter than I ever thought I was in my high school and college years. I realized I could do some very interesting things that I never would have considered back then. I know I am very curious. I learned years ago to question everything, a truly valuable habit (see https://chris-ebel.com/?p=347).
I’ve learned to see more than one side to an issue (absolutely mandatory in raising kids or dealing with a boss). I’ve learned life is complicated and you can’t always try to change the world – but it is imperative to stay up on the issues whether it is green power, exoplanets or the drug crisis here and abroad.
We are taught that wisdom increases with age. That seems to be true up to a point. There are numerous studies that have looked into aging and how cognitive reasoning and memory can deteriorate at vastly different rates. Those afflicted with varying levels of dementia or Alzheimer’s are hit the hardest, of course. If our memories or cognitive abilities diminish, our wisdom will not be as rich and meaningful as it once was. Take care of your fine, fine self. Stay engaged, alert and connected. Read and learn, no matter what age. Be curious. You have a lot of wisdom to share with the world.
Chris Ebel
2/22/22
Photo credit: @spitou